Showing posts from 2014


I grew up in New York City, Brooklyn mostly, and I can remember when male strangers started talking to me on the street.  I was about 12 years old.  These were not boys hollering at me but grown men. Well it  was the 80s and I was allowed to walk everywhere alone: to the library, corner store, and the arcade, etc..  Now New Yorkers learn early on not to talk to strangers.  So I was initially thrown off by the unsolicited attention. Just like pregnancy, other females don't prepare you for it.

These gestures had sexual undertones; even at that tender age I could tell.   It felt weird in the beginning and as my body matured I grew accustomed to it. Some would say a simple hello, while others commented on your body and the more intimidating ones followed you for blocks.  I learned that when you ignored some, they would unleash a verbal wrath on you that could make Katt Williams blush.  On some occasions a man would say something sincere or he would make you laugh, harassment is interp…


This Ad for Beats by Dre, has me lacing up my sneakers and getting down on the mat.  Serena is the "baadest" athlete on the planet.


The former Baltimore Ravens player, Ray Rice's domestic violence video on a casino's elevator is circulating all over the globe, compliments of TMZ.  The NFL previously suspended him for two games for the infamous video of him dragging his then fiancee, knocked out cold, out of the elevator.  One month later this young lady decides to marry this man who, as now revealed, punched her the hell out like he was brawling with Mike Tyson.  I don't know what led up to that heinous act.  What I do know is she needs to get the hell out of that situation.

Ray Rice and other men like him do not belong in relationships until they learn how to control their violent behavior.  Did she hit him prior to that or say something that pissed him off? I haven't a clue. What I do know is their foundation is quicksand and it will sink rather quickly.  The League gave him a meek slap on a wrist and now the Ravens have decided to give him the boot.  His wife should take note. If Baltimore can k…

Brown is Nude

I love lingerie.  It is one of my guilty pleasures.  There is something about putting on a pretty bra set that empowers you.  So I am excited about Nubian Skin, a new commerce site,  that will be launching a lingerie line that truly addresses what nude means to women of color.  For years, I have lamented about finding nude underwear that truly compliments the different shades of black women and our sisters of color.  I have searched for a pretty brown bra and pantie only to be disappointed. The few brown bras I find are boring and too matronly for my taste. I stopped wearing stockings because I could never find a shade that flattered my skin tone.

In October Nubian Skin plans to launch this groundbreaking business.  The bra sizes will range from 30B to 36E.  I am excited and welcome the diversity in the lingerie world.  I cross my fingers and hope the best for this new company.


Your natural hair and your soft skin, and your big ass in that sundress (ooh!) Good God, what you doing that walk for? - Poetic Justice (Kendrick Lamar)

When I first heard those lyrics I got goose bumps.  Wearing my natty hair has been liberating. I restarted my natural hair journey almost 20 years ago. I decided to do away with straightening my locks and I have never looked back.  Those moments of hot combs scorching my ears and my scalp being assaulted by lye are distant memories, and I shall never relive it.

I am not opposed to perms, straighteners or weaves.  Do whatever makes you feel beautiful.  What I am against is someone judging another for choosing a path that might be different than the majority.  If I want to let my natty locks blow in the win; it is my prerogative.  BET or no one else can kill my joy.

I am probably not part of BET's target audience.  I left my teen years and early twenties behind a long time ago.  So my boycotting of the cable network is not an issue …


The Stockton Police Department had a weapons bust and decided to post it on their Facebook page.  What they did not anticipate is all the attention one of their suspects, Jeremy Meeks would get.  His photo garnered over 38,000 likes. Apparently the world now knows that women do like eye candy.  Yes Mr. Meeks is handsome and I suppose it is his beautiful blue eyes and chiseled features that are getting all the attention.  The fact that he is a 30 year old convicted felon and gang member has not made him any less attractive to some.  I am sure for most, it is all fantasy.  Another young suspect, Terry Bailey, arrested that same day is no slouch in the looks department either.  I guess his brown eyes did not appeal to the masses.
The misconception is that women are exclusively attracted to things like money, status, or personality.  Men are visual creatures and mostly respond to a round booty, nice breasts and a smile. After all that is what drives the pornography industry. I do know th…


"We black men have a hard enough time in our own struggle for justice, and already have enough enemies as it is, to make the drastic mistake of attacking each other and adding more weight to an already unbearable load."
The Autobiography of Malcolm X written by Alex Haley was a work of art that changed my life in the most profound way.  I can still remember how exhilarated I felt after I read the final word. I was a sophomore in college who had never taken a literary journey like that before.  Malcolm X's life exemplified black love at the highest level. His words made me  realize redemption is possible and that you can overcome adversity with sheer will.  Today is the 89th anniversary of Malcolm Shabazz's glorious birth.  Although he was on this Earth for a brief time the impact he had on the world has lasted for generations.


The dialogue between Donald Sterling and his ex concubine was one of the most fascinating conversations about race that I have heard in quite some time.   It reminded me of the revelation that the late South Carolina politician and infamous segregationist, Strom Thurmond, secretly fathered a child with a black teenager who worked in his family's household.   The sexual dynamic that is intertwined with social racism can be confusing, hypocritical, and sometimes complex.

Racism is more than saying the word Nigger.  Not once did Sterling say the word nigger, coon, or thug, but his words are the depiction of an old man who has benefited from white privilege as he drowns in his obsession with his whiteness.

Yes Sterling's ignorant views of race are obvious but his sexist views are equally blatant as evident below in his own words:

                 Donald: Ya it bothers me a lot that you want to promo... broadcast that you are
                 associating with black people. Do you …


I don't watch Love and Hip Hop; but I have heard of the recent sex tape by a couple of the VH-1 reality show's characters.  Now I know that some women have gained enormous fame from starring in leaked porn videos, but all of those women have been white.  Karrin Steffans, aka Superhead, did put her stamp on the literary world with Confessions of a Video Vixen but her pornography career did not land her on the cover of Vogue magazine.   The sister in Love and Hip Hop has obviously marketed her sex tape as a calculated career move.  We all make choices on a daily basis that may work for or against us. She is not running for public office or seeking a job at a Catholic school;so what is the harm?  Twenty or even ten years ago I would have said,  "it will die down".  That is no longer true, access to information is readily available; in a matter of seconds this video will be accessible to just about everyone.  I heard that she is a mother and I wonder how making this risq…


The young lady featured in the video above has filed a lawsuit against 2 Chainz for allowing this to air. She does look a bit thirsty but I really don't know if she is starstruck, a groupie, or seeking her 15 minutes. It might be all three.  She looks lovely and seems intelligent especially as she calls out her instagram.  Now in 2 Chainz's defense he may have had some run-ins with girls backstage and decided he was going to be proactive and document everything. Prevention is the best protection.  I can also look at him as being  a dick; because the young lady may just be a fan and lord knows he is lucky he has them.  He obviously should tighten up his security if he wants to keep certain people out. I am also certain his buddy was the one who let her in and decided to play dumb.

Social media has completely changed how we do things. It is a wonderful way to stay in touch with family, friends and the world.  I embrace social media and what it has to offer. Yet there are some t…

Darren Sharper Charged With Rape in L.A.

Darren Sharper the former NFL star was charged with two counts of rape while using drugs  by the Los Angeles District Attorney's Office.  He faces 30 years in prison if convicted. He was also charged with possession of a controlled substance and four counts of furnishing a controlled substance. It is alleged that he raped at least seven women in Arizona, Louisiana and Nevada by luring them back to his hotel rooms and lacing their drinks with morphine and zolpidem (Ambien). There are going to be those who find it hard to believe that a handsome former NFL star would have to resort to drugging women to have sex. Rapists and sex molesters cannot be categorized under a simple and neat description. They transcend race, religion, gender and class.

As this case unfolds it is probable more women will reveal that they were sexually assaulted by this alleged serial rapist. It is so scary out there.  You really cannot let your guard down; but we tend to do that in a social setting where alc…