Showing posts from September, 2012


The Blacker the Berry was a controversial novel written by Wallace Thurman in 1929 during the Harlem Renaissance period.  It explores colorism within the black community during a period when the light skinned vs. dark skinned dilemma was in full effect. The phrase blacker the berry has several meanings.  It can be used as a sexually exploitative way to depict a black woman's vagina and the pleasure it can bring.  Or, it is a pro-black mantra celebrating the beauty of being black.  Tupac describes the latter best in Keep Your Head Up: "some say the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice, I say the darker the flesh then the deeper the roots".

It all brings me to the timeless musician, vocalist, and prolific song writer, Nina Simone.  Her music is dark, rich and complex as her life ever was. The story of this legendary singer should be told.  A debate rages on about the biopic, yet to be filmed, starring Zoe Saldana as Nina Simone. Some say she is way too light skinned to…

Revenge is a Bitch

Revenge is defined as the action of inflicting hurt or harm on someone for a wrong suffered at their hands.  I also see it as an inability to forgive and move on.  I can understand completely why a person would want to see someone suffer for doing them dirty. It is a natural reaction to want retribution for the pain inflicted upon you. How far you are willing to take it, is another issue.  The path to revenge is toxic and it can consume you.

One of the revenge stories to grab my attention was that of YaVaughnie Wilkins. She was the mistress of  Charles Philips, the former president of  the software company, Oracle and a senior member of President Obama's Economic Recovery Advisory Board.  The brother has quite an impressive resume.  Ms. Wilkins had been in an eight year relationship with a successful married man and in early 2010 after it went sour she placed a billboard on West 52nd Street near Times Square titled "Your are my soul mate".  Apparently that was a phrase h…

The Dream of Sexual Equality

A few years ago I picked up the novel Sexual Healing by Jill Nelson.   Two black women n their 40s decide they are going to secretly open a brothel spastrictly for black women, to indulge in all their carnal pleasures.  The idea comes to them as they fantasize about the perfect man and lament about their relationships.  One is in a relationship with a two-minute brother and the other has had a series of bad luck with men. It is hilarious when these two unlikely pimps start auditioning and interviewing the men to work at the brothel.  The employment application alone is worth a read.  A conservative preacher discovers their new business and tries to shut them down.

In the real world we know men have many avenues to satisfy their sexual urges. Brothels, massage parlors, and strip clubs can be found all across the country. (Where I live, they have 24 hour strip clubs.) I can't  forget to mention those trips to the Dominican Republic, Thailand and Brazil, but that's another stor…

Words To Live By

I am a a self professed internet junkie.  I love surfing the web.  I especially love those inspirational sites that  teach you some invaluable lessons and lead you on a positive path.  Here are some of my current favorites.

Choose your life mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery.Accept that you won't be attractive to everyone.Give people a second chance, but not a third.Date someone out of your league.Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

Friends Without Benefits

Men and women can be friends without a sexual relationship.  Platonic relationships do exist but there are times when men may object to the direction the woman is taking it.  I got some feedback from some intelligent brothers who believe women, at times, step over their boundaries when it comes to friends without benefits.

Don't expect to be coddled, you will get the raw truth. Don't expect me to pay your way.  Ladies we should not assume that just because he is a man he will always pick up the check.  Yes he is a man, but not your man.Don't expect me not to holla at females.  You and he may have walked in the bar or club together but he will step to other women.  Do not give him shade for not paying attention to you all night.He won't always be able to return your phone call right away.  In other words unless it is an emergency, it can wait.Don't feel threatened by the women he is romantically…



Ladies, B.O.B, Battery Operated Boyfriend, as Raheem Devaughn so delicately put it to music, should be in every woman's collection.  We are all sexual beings and suppressing our desires and urges is unnatural. Recently I attended a Passion Party for a fun and wicked educational night with some girlfriends.   Some of the ladies like myself, already had indulged in the pleasures of sex toys while others were straight up B.O.B virgins.  We had a blast, while tipsy of course, discussing all the possibilities these treasures could offer.

I could remember the first time I bravely walked into a sex shop.  I was alone and in my early twenties window shopping in the West Village.  I had passed that sex shop countless times, but that day I got the nerve to walk in.  This was pre-online shopping days, so I am showing my age.  It was overwhelming and I was amazed at the number of things people can use to get themselves and their partners off.  The swings, harnesses, w…
The last hazy days of summer are behind us and this is the last weekend to catch a summer flick at the theather.  I have to admit Magic Mike and Madagascar 3 were the only films I saw this summer. Kind of a weird combination, I know.  I am longing for a sultry, sexy Black romantic film. So I began reminiscing about those movies of the past that exemplified the beauty and complexity of love between a Black man and woman.  Here are a few.

Love Jones.  When Nina and Darius finally get together the screen was on fire. But when Darius uttered those words, "fuck your man I ain't worried about him."  I melted.

Brother to the Night (A Blues for Nina)

Mahogany. Before there was Denzel or Idris Elba,  Billy Dee Williams was the chocolate sex symbol that made all the women swoon.  His movies with the ultimate diva, Diana Ross are classic black films that captured the hearts of many black girls who had not seen the likes of that brown chemistry before.  Mahogany and Lady Sings the B…