Showing posts from August, 2012

The List

 Yesterday I had a conversation with a recently divorced woman who was now getting back in the dating game.  She joined a dating site in the hopes of meeting an attractive professional man.  She asked me if I thought she should expand her selection to men she normally was not attracted to.  I told her I thought that would be a mistake. "Stay in your lane, and do not deviate".  Is that shallow?  No.  I truly believe when you reach a certain age and you are prepared to enter into a serious adult relationship, you should not deviate.  This morning she informed me she was meeting with someone she connected with online last night. They talked for hours.  For now he has many of the qualities she likes which scares her because he seems to good to be true.  Let's cross our fingers and hope it works out.

Years ago when my sister had lamented that she was tired of dating and wanted to find the "right one" for her, I convinced her to create a list of all the qualities …

Five Timeless Black Couples


Ozzie Davis and Ruby Dee are the quintisential Black couple.  They met while peforming on Broadway in the play Jeb.  They were award winning artists, activists and a  symbol of longevity. "Their marriage lasted until Ozzie's death in 2005.

A meeting at a Harlem Baptist Church in 1964 would create a divine musical match that gave the world such classics as "Aint No Mountain High Enough" and "I Am Every Woman".  " Their enduring love of music and each other led to a union that could only be undone by Nick Ashford's death in 2011.  The music is a testament to their love and will always live on.

The Hollywood power couple that met on the set of the Fresh Prince are the epitome of glamour and success.  He is a box office powerhouse and she a renaissance woman that compliments him perfectly.  Recent rumors of their separation haven't been proven but their timeless passion is undeniable.

Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison i…

Five Myths About Black Love

Black Love has taken quite a beating in the media these past couple years. We are bombarded with all the statistics especially those targeting black women.  70% of black women are single, interracial dating is on the rise, it goes on and on.  Here are some myths about Black Love floating around that hold no merit.

1.   Black men fear marriage.  Not true.  Black men don't fear marriage they fear not being able to provide for a family.  If a man is secure with his financial situation, he starts to think about settling down with a mate and starting his own family. His manhood demands it.  The economy sucks right now and many brothers are struggling with not being able to provide as they see fit.

2.   Black women are too independent to want or even keep a man.  Yes black women are strong-willed and self-efficient but we have no problem with our man taking charge.  There is nothing more desirable than a self assured brother that has your back and  can hold things down. Most sisters y…

Why a good father may keep a girl single.

When we analyze how a father affects his daughter’s relationships with men we tend to focus on the negative aspect; the absentee dad or the abusive father figure. It has been determined that how a little girl views her daddy has an impact on all her future romantic dealings with the opposite sex.If a young lady is eager to please a man at all cost or she gravitates to older domineering men, we blame it on daddy not being there.A woman caught in a vicious cycle of abusive relationships is assumed to have witnessed her father physically and mentally abusing her mother.The theories can go on forever. What of the girl who had a good father; the type of father that was nurturing, protective, and loving. There are some incredible Black fathers out there. If your daddy put you on a pedestal, did he ruin you for all others?I sometimes wonder if my expectations of a man are intertwined with the fact that I had a good father.I have a tendency of getting myself out of a relationship the moment I …