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Showing posts from April, 2013

Saying Goodbye to Love

“It is so hard to leave — until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world.”
John GreenPaper Towns
After a long search, you finally met someone worth spending time with. The two of your lives are now intertwined and it feels comfortable.  Comfortable like that old college sweatshirt with the holes that you can't seem to throw away. Days, weeks and months go by. You haven't moved in together yet but you spend every weekend at his house.  Yes the brother has his own home and a good j.o.b.

Then one day you look across the dinner table at that person and decide this is not fulfilling me. An important piece is missing but you don't want to face it.  You remain silent and play with your food as he checks his phone for messages.  "I should be happy."  He is smart, employed and most of all reliable.  Those other men before him were flaky, self-absorbed, and easily distracted. Now you have a man who is available to …

Sexual Compatibility

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Many years ago when I was a naive young woman living in the NYC I met a man who would have had no problem winning first prize in a Steve Urkel lookalike contest.  Our conversation took a strange turn when he informed me that he and his wife were swingers. I wasn't sure what that was, until he enlightened me.  After showing me a photo of his wife, definitely a cheerleader type, he proceeded to school me on what went on at these social events. I found out tidbits like a woman could enter solo but a man could not. You could be in a room in the middle of a menage a trois and your significant other was in another corner of the same room performing oral on a complete stranger.

By the end of our conversation my head was spinning.  He did not recruit me but he made me realize compatibility went way beyond looks. My mind wandered back to that conversation when I read the recent story about Will and Jada Smith having an open marriage.  There had been rumors circulating for years about the H…