Saturday, October 20, 2012

Celibacy Blues

Webster's Dictionary defines celibacy as the abstention from sexual intercourse and the state of not being married.  I grew up in the Catholic church so I always associated celibacy with the vow a priest or a nun takes. We all know that some priests have not been able to make that work. I would bet money that the nuns haven't all been successful either, they are just more discrete.  My understanding is, if one is celibate they not only give up the pleasures of the flesh but they abstain from all sexual activitiy and thoughts as well.  That theory means if you stopped fucking but you still masturbate, you are not celibate. Or if you only watch porn but you don't engage in vaginal penetration you are still not celibate.

Abstaining from sexual intercourse is a huge task to take on. In a society where sexual images and potential partners are ubiquitous; it takes a determination of steel to completely give up fucking. I had no idea who Devon Franklin was prior to viewing his interview to hawk his book, Produced By Faith, on After hearing him declare that he was celibate for over 10 years I had to find out more about him. Turns out Mr. Franklin is an anomaly, a Hollywood executive and a devout Christian.   Is it possible that an attractive and successful business man can abstain from sex for over ten years in Lala Land? If he truly abstained, his will power is commendable.

I enjoy sex.  I should rephrase that; I enjoy good sex. I have abstained from sexual intercourse with a man at different points in my life.  I never considered myself celibate.  My battery operated toys were always handy. But there were times when I needed to put the dick down.  Sex can confuse you and keep you in situations you do not need to be in.  The commitment to abstain from sex with another person is quite difficult in the beginning and it doesn't get any easier. One of my favorite songs on Jill Scott's album The Real Thing: Volume 3, is Celibacy Blues. That song is the perfect description of what you go through.  So if you decide to take the journey be prepared for the long road ahead. Here is some of the temptation I have found along the way.

The Finest Men

It seems that when you decide hey I am going to give up sex.  The fine ass men appear everywhere. When I see a gorgeous man that makes my heart flutter, naturally I start thinking about things of a sexual nature.

Yuma TnT Carnival 2012
Happy Hour

I like to get my drink on.  A couple glasses of pinot grigio or a cranberry and Malibu at half off and I am feeling nice.  Now put me in a bar setting with some decent looking men and I get that fuzzy feeling inside.  Not a good mix if you are abstaining.

The Radio

Turn your radio on any hip hop or r&b station and you are bombarded with the overt sexual messages that are a part of today's music.  I am listening to Miguel's "Adorn" right now and if that doesn't get your pulse racing, you might be dead. Okay Motivation by Kelly Rowland just came on.  I'm done.

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