Sunday, August 12, 2012

Why a good father may keep a girl single.

When we analyze how a father affects his daughter’s relationships with men we tend to focus on the negative aspect; the absentee dad or the abusive father figure. It has been determined that how a little girl views her daddy has an impact on all her future romantic dealings with the opposite sex.  If a young lady is eager to please a man at all cost or she gravitates to older domineering men, we blame it on daddy not being there.  A woman caught in a vicious cycle of abusive relationships is assumed to have witnessed her father physically and mentally abusing her mother.  The theories can go on forever.
What of the girl who had a good father; the type of father that was nurturing, protective, and loving. There are some incredible Black fathers out there.   If your daddy put you on a pedestal, did he ruin you for all others?   I sometimes wonder if my expectations of a man are intertwined with the fact that I had a good father.  I have a tendency of getting myself out of a relationship the moment I feel a man is not up to par.  The single life has embraced me for most of my adult life.  A man does something that I find questionable and I bail.  You shouldn’t have to lower your standards when choosing a mate, but you have to be realistic.  My coming to terms with that is a work in progress.  I am thankful though  that daddy was and is still there for me when I need him.     Hopefully someday I will find a mate who I will let be there for me as well.

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