When we analyze how a father affects his daughter’s relationships with men we tend to focus on the negative aspect; the absentee dad or the abusive father figure. It has been determined that how a little girl views her daddy has an impact on all her future romantic dealings with the opposite sex. If a young lady is eager to please a man at all cost or she gravitates to older domineering men, we blame it on daddy not being there. A woman caught in a vicious cycle of abusive relationships is assumed to have witnessed her father physically and mentally abusing her mother. The theories can go on forever.
What of the girl who had a good father; the type of father that was nurturing, protective, and loving. There are some incredible Black fathers out there. If your daddy put you on a pedestal, did he ruin you for all others? I sometimes wonder if my expectations of a man are intertwined with the fact that I had a good father. I have a tendency of getting myself out of a relationship the moment I feel a man is not up to par. The single life has embraced me for most of my adult life. A man does something that I find questionable and I bail. You shouldn’t have to lower your standards when choosing a mate, but you have to be realistic. My coming to terms with that is a work in progress. I am thankful though that daddy was and is still there for me when I need him. Hopefully someday I will find a mate who I will let be there for me as well.