Sexual Compatibility

Many years ago when I was a naive young woman living in the NYC I met a man who would have had no problem winning first prize in a Steve Urkel lookalike contest.  Our conversation took a strange turn when he informed me that he and his wife were swingers. I wasn't sure what that was, until he enlightened me.  After showing me a photo of his wife, definitely a cheerleader type, he proceeded to school me on what went on at these social events. I found out tidbits like a woman could enter solo but a man could not.  You could be in a room in the middle of a menage a trois and your significant other was in another corner of the same room performing oral on a complete stranger.

By the end of our conversation my head was spinning.  He did not recruit me but he made me realize compatibility went way beyond looks. My mind wandered back to that conversation when I read the recent story about Will and Jada Smith having an open marriage.  There had been rumors circulating for years about the Hollywood couple being swingers. I just never saw it in the general media. If the rumor is even remotely true, they are consenting adults and can swing all they want. But I wonder how you approach your significant other and get them to accept both of you openly engaging in sexual activity with outsiders. Unless you meet your mate at a sex club, at some point one has to recruit the other.  How do you make that bold suggestion without heading for Splitsville?

Which brings me to sexual compatibility.  You are making a mistake if you are putting this at the bottom of your list when looking for a mate. Sex is not the only component in a good relationship but if two people are not on the same page in the bedroom; eventually things could fall apart. A monogamous relationship, most of all, requires sexual compatibility to thrive.   5 signs you may not be sexually compatible.

1. Importance of Sex.  If you rank sex high in your day to day existence and your lover places it below grocery shopping, you are not on the same page.

2. The Kink Factor.  Your mate is uncomfortable with anything outside of missionary but you are feenin' to incorporate hot candle wax and light bondage.

3.  Sexual Drive.  Getting it in every morning is ideal for you, however he or she thinks once a week is more than enough.

4.  Oral Pleasure.  You gag when thinking about going down on him.  He obsesses about blow jobs because he isn't getting any. Or 69 is a prerequisite for you and he is squeamish kissing you down there.

5. Other People. He or she is okay with sex outside your relationship but you reject anything outside of monogamy.

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