Is Monogamy Natural?

I enjoy listening to the Breakfast Club on power 105.9 in New York. Last week they had the comedian David Alan Grier on as a guest and he was asked if ever cheated.  He amusingly stumbled around giving an answer.  Grier was twice divorced. Charlamagne  interjected his usual spiel about how polygamy should be legal, because a man committing to one person was impossible.  Grier had something real profound to say "we are told you are supposed to meet someone at 18, fall in love with them, and die at 100 and never cheat".   That seems unrealistic but that is what society dictates, at least here in America.  It is a fantasy perpetuated everywhere you look; in the media, literature, church, and at your mom's kitchen table.  I just don't think that monogamy is natural for most Homo sapiens.   Monogamy is cultural, it definitely is not part of your DNA.

I do believe if you put your mind to it you can commit to one person, but it takes a tremendous amount of will and determination. Four reasons monogamy can be so difficult.

1.  Genetics.  We are mammals, highly evolved mammals, but still mammals.  Monogamy is rare in the animal kingdom.  So it would be naive to think it would be easy to follow the rules of monogamy when it goes against natural instinct.

2.  Options.  Chris Rock said it best, "A man is as faithful as his options".  This can easily be applied to women as well.  The possibilities are endless in meeting someone new to fuck.  You can hook up in so many different ways, the Internet, at work, the club, the gym and on the subway platform on the F line.

3. Boredom.  If you are bored or dissatisfied with your sex life you begin to obsess about sex.  You constantly imagine yourself in more risque activity. The fantasy about that attractive UPS man that delivers packages to your apartment complex plays over and over in your mind.  You contemplate ordering some junk just to get him to visit.

4. The Office.  Where do people stray the most?  a. The Club  b. The Bar c. Online  or d. The Workplace  The answer is d.  People are cheating on their spouses at work as I write this.  I have seen several married co-workers hook up at work way before they  make it to Happy Hour.  It does not matter if it is within the offices of the Senate, CIA or the accounting department on the 5th floor, people are cheating on their significant others with their co-workers.  It is convenient, easy and comfortable to snuggle up to the person in the cubicle across from you.