Saturday, June 9, 2012

Jungle Fever

I recall sitting in a New York City movie theatre watching Spike Lee's film Jungle Fever as a young woman back in the nineties. Back then you anticipated the opening of a new Spike Lee Joint with much excitement.  One of the most profound scenes is when Queen Latifah's character, a waitress, throws Wesley Snipe a ton of shade for bringing a white woman to the restaurant. At that time I never gave much thought to that type of relationship.  I was young and believed love should have no boundaries.

Well as the available "good" black men seemed to  dry up and the historical view of a black woman's lack of beauty reared its racist head, I grew to feel uncomfortable in the presence of these relationships. Ironically I have dated outside my race but I am still working on my issues with jungle fever or the swirl. I am a work in progress.  Here are five reasons why I believe a  black women should not be upset when they see a black man with a white woman.

1.                 He might be an asshole.  OJ Simpson, need I say more. 

2.                Men like variety especially the exotic kind; it is not necessarily because he finds black women undesirable. It is there nature, and I think women should embrace this. Just pay attention to all the white men with Asian women.  White women have been on a pedestal for years but believe me the white women have noticed white men with Asian women.   I have actually been a part of these conversations. The difference is white women don't take it as personal as we do.

3.              He might have been raised by a white family, and knows no other experience.  For some time there has been a trend for white families to adopt children of other races; particularly wealthy upwardly mobile whites.  They tend to live in all white neighborhoods so the brother did not grow up around his own kind.  He probably identifies with that blond woman who wiped his nose or kissed his bruised knee as a youngster.

4.                I know the name of this blog is Black Love Rules but I believe black women who are open to exploring relationships with men of other races, should.  The brothers don’t have any trepidation when stepping to a female who uses a different comb than they do. 

5.                Sometimes we find love where we least expect it;  race, gender, religion, or ethnicity does not play any role in this. You can't be angry at L O V E.  If it isn't your man there really should not be any reason for you to object to a relationship between consenting adults. It is wasted energy.  Now I need to constantly apply this concept myself. 

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