All the Good Ones are Taken.

A couple weeks ago I caught the fabulous soul singer extraordinaire, Chaka Khan on the Wendy Williams show.  If you haven't seen Ms. Khan recently, she looks fabulous.  She dropped a ton of weight and is embracing the fountain of youth.  Wendy, the gossip queen she is, questioned the diva on her love life. Chaka declared her single status with the following words, "All the good one's are taken."  It got me thinking about how profound a statement that is for a successful mature black woman who for all else purposes, has it going on to make.  I have felt that way for a long time as I have traveled precariously throughout the single world. So what does a single black woman over thirty do if all the "good brothers" are truly taken.

1.  Explore the possibilities and date outside the race.  This is harder than it sounds. If you crave a strong chocolate black man no vanilla or cream man will suffice.  Dating outside of the race does not only mean white, you have Asian and Latino men at your disposal. For many sisters we prefer to stay within our comfort zone. Damn there is nothing that compares to the love of black man that can hold things down.  If you keep your options there is more variety to choose from.

2. Share a man.  Now if a man is willing to get emotionally involved with more than one woman can he be considered one of the good ones?  To some a successful man who is willing to commit to a relationship is the ultimate catch despite his situation.  What better example of that than a gainfully employed married man. You know he is financially sound and that he is willing to make the most fundamental commitment, marriage.

3.  Join a convent.  Okay maybe not so drastic. Instead you surrender and give up looking or even believing in the possibility that some one is out there for you.  You become completely involved in your career while living vicariously through your friends who are in relationships. Your family knows they can count on you to babysit or to run errands because your free time is theirs.  What else would you be doing anyway?

Mother Theresa

4. Indulge in your freaky side.  You get out there and bang whomever you want, whenever you want.  You are not afraid to have sex with strangers that you meet in the club or online.  You decide just because I can't find a man to grow old with, does not mean I don't need my garden watered.

5.  You reject the four choices above and decide that your new project is to grow as an individual.  You will grab the world by its horns and ride if for all that it is worth.  Being solo will not stop you from having a fulfilling life.   If a man, worthy of the jewel that you are comes along; well you will take that too.