RACISM, SEXISM, AND THE POWER OF THE "P"

The dialogue between Donald Sterling and his ex concubine was one of the most fascinating conversations about race that I have heard in quite some time.   It reminded me of the revelation that the late South Carolina politician and infamous segregationist, Strom Thurmond, secretly fathered a child with a black teenager who worked in his family's household.   The sexual dynamic that is intertwined with social racism can be confusing, hypocritical, and sometimes complex.

Racism is more than saying the word Nigger.  Not once did Sterling say the word nigger, coon, or thug, but his words are the depiction of an old man who has benefited from white privilege as he drowns in his obsession with his whiteness.

Yes Sterling's ignorant views of race are obvious but his sexist views are equally blatant as evident below in his own words:
               
                 Donald: Ya it bothers me a lot that you want to promo... broadcast that you are
                 associating with black people. Do you have to?

                 Mistress: You associate with black people.

                Donald:  I am not you and you are not me.  You are supposed to be a delicate white or a
                delicate Latina girl.

Obviously this man feels that this woman does not have the right to associate with whom he doesn't seem fit, but he still can. Ironically she may even be part black which confuses this whole fiasco.  He can profit off of blacks, accept a NAACP Lifetime Achievement Award, and take as many photos with them as he pleases. The minute this colored mistress gets out of pocket, all hell breaks loose.

The power of the "pussy" prevails. This young lady is being sued by the Sterling family for embezzling over a million dollars from the old geezer.  She put it on him, he showered her with gifts, and then things went sour. The current longest owner of a NBA team now risks being removed from what I am sure is a treasured position; because he wanted some young pussy. The damage has been done. She struck back.  It doesn't matter if she is a gold digger who targets wealthy men; he should have been intelligent enough not to fall for it.  His racial views are skewed but he has no problem laying with a non-white woman.  Donald Sterling shines a light on the racist, sexist and ignorant views that still prevail without saying the word bitch or nigger.

WHY I DECIDED TO STOP WATCHING PORNOGRAPHY

I don't watch Love and Hip Hop; but I have heard of the recent sex tape by a couple of the VH-1 reality show's characters.  Now I know that some women have gained enormous fame from starring in leaked porn videos, but all of those women have been white.  Karrin Steffans, aka Superhead, did put her stamp on the literary world with Confessions of a Video Vixen but her pornography career did not land her on the cover of Vogue magazine.   The sister in Love and Hip Hop has obviously marketed her sex tape as a calculated career move.  We all make choices on a daily basis that may work for or against us. She is not running for public office or seeking a job at a Catholic school;so what is the harm?  Twenty or even ten years ago I would have said,  "it will die down".  That is no longer true, access to information is readily available; in a matter of seconds this video will be accessible to just about everyone.  I heard that she is a mother and I wonder how making this risque video will affect her child.  Not in a good or positive way I am sure.  I haven't decided to stop watching porn because of Love and Hip Hop but it hasn't dissuaded me from giving it up.  Top 3 reasons I am giving up porn.

3.  Most men are not hung like that. Professional pornography creates an unrealistic view of sex that I have grown tired of. Whether it is soft or hardcore I can do without the acrobatic positions and fake orgasms.  Sure I could watch amateur porn if I want reality, but film is all about escape for me.  Watching a dude that looks like my neighbor humping a woman that resembles the cashier at the supermarket, can get old.

2.  Guilt.  Many of the people, women in particular, that get involved in pornography are broken.  I think about Laurence Fishburne's daughter Montana, and the little sister on Family Matters that disappeared after a few seasons.  They are young vulnerable women who regretted screwing people on film and have suffered the repercussions.

1.  Seems like I should be fucking instead of watching others do it.  Using it as foreplay with another may work but I think using my imagination and creativity is more advantageous.  Sure you can get pick up some ideas and new tricks to practice. I do believe you can fly on your own if you are with someone that really turns you on; the possibilities should be endless.  Sex can get monotonous with a significant other but there other ways to spice things up.  I love reading erotica and will continue to indulge in that.  A book allows your imagination to fly and does not restrict your thoughts like film can.

You can never say never but for now I will refrain from pornography and let my own imagination do the work.

PERCEPTION IS EVERYTHING

The young lady featured in the video above has filed a lawsuit against 2 Chainz for allowing this to air. She does look a bit thirsty but I really don't know if she is starstruck, a groupie, or seeking her 15 minutes. It might be all three.  She looks lovely and seems intelligent especially as she calls out her instagram.  Now in 2 Chainz's defense he may have had some run-ins with girls backstage and decided he was going to be proactive and document everything. Prevention is the best protection.  I can also look at him as being  a dick; because the young lady may just be a fan and lord knows he is lucky he has them.  He obviously should tighten up his security if he wants to keep certain people out. I am also certain his buddy was the one who let her in and decided to play dumb.

Social media has completely changed how we do things. It is a wonderful way to stay in touch with family, friends and the world.  I embrace social media and what it has to offer. Yet there are some things I have not been able to cosign with such as: online dating and posting every single bit of your life and every thought on sites like Twitter or Facebook.  The minute this woman realized she was being videotaped on a blog she should have hightailed it out of there.  The man had her do a twirl like she was up for bid at an auction.  Later on the embarrassment of being putting on display must have got to her if she felt the need to hire an attorney.  Does she have a case?  Only time will tell. Her desire to be seen on a blog and to get her instagram out there, clouded her judgment.  I guess the need to be seen is stronger than pride.

Darren Sharper Charged With Rape in L.A.

Darren Sharper the former NFL star was charged with two counts of rape while using drugs  by the Los Angeles District Attorney's Office.  He faces 30 years in prison if convicted. He was also charged with possession of a controlled substance and four counts of furnishing a controlled substance. It is alleged that he raped at least seven women in Arizona, Louisiana and Nevada by luring them back to his hotel rooms and lacing their drinks with morphine and zolpidem (Ambien). There are going to be those who find it hard to believe that a handsome former NFL star would have to resort to drugging women to have sex. Rapists and sex molesters cannot be categorized under a simple and neat description. They transcend race, religion, gender and class.

As this case unfolds it is probable more women will reveal that they were sexually assaulted by this alleged serial rapist. It is so scary out there.  You really cannot let your guard down; but we tend to do that in a social setting where alcohol is readily available.  It is only human to meet someone who you find attractive and you allow yourself to become vulnerable. It is hard enough as a woman to accuse a man of rape now add the fact that he is famous.  As a woman you are quite aware of what you will be up against. "She is a whore and therefore she wanted it."  You are dealing with the horrendous act thrust upon you and you have to face public suspicion and degradation on top of that.  If the charges are true, I hope the women involved can get the justice they deserve.  There is no excuse for forcing anyone to have sex without their possession.  No one asks to be a victim.  Poor judgement does not warrant someone violating your body and your wishes.

TO THE LIMIT

For Those Cold Wintry Nights.

Tarrus Riley , To The Limit.

MADIBA

The world has loss a fearless leader but we must celebrate his life in its entirety.  The rebel, scholar, statesman and symbol of freedom is no longer with us in body, but his spirit and teachings will prevail.  He led by example through his resilience and fearless fight for equality .  It has been many years since I read the Autobiography of Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom." I intend to revisit the story of this remarkable man.  I remember the hope I felt when I when he was released from Robins Island; walking hand in hand with his determined wife, Winnie. Those years of boycotting certain companies that refused to stop doing business with the apartheid regime in South Africa had finally paid off.  Madiba was free and all was right with the world at that moment as he took those first steps of freedom.  He spent 30 years in prison but was awarded with a long life. Longevity served its purpose and the great warrior for equality and freedom is now at peace.

Paul Walker

Paul Walker

I know I started this blog to talk about black love but love really shouldn't be limited by race, gender, culture, or religion.  Love is just love.  I have been a fan of Paul Walker since I saw the first Fast and the Furious film over 12 years ago.  He was always that perfect surfer boy type that was so easy on the eyes.  I am saddened by his death but he will live on through his work.  We really have to do more than just survive, we must live; life is way to precious.