LOVE IN THE WORDS OF BOB MARLEY

"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful.

There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby.

Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”    

                      Bob Marley

Keeping it Sexy

Eartha Kitt the Queen of Sexy

When the General Petraeus sex scandal hit the news I thought to myself not another story where Americans obsess about a man in power cheating on his wife.  We have a history of paying way too much attention to the sexual indiscretions of our politicians.  Whether it is Bill Clinton's cigar episode, Anthony Weiners shirtless tweets or the General's decision to hump his biographer, a man's decision to step out on his wife has us transfixed.  I tried very hard to avoid the Petraeus story until I saw a photo of his wife, Holly Petraeus.  The focus has been on the women involved in this fiasco; those flirtatious seductive vixens that lured poor Mr. Petraeus into their vaginal webs.  I wouldn't be surprised if later on we find out they were in a well established sex club. Everyone involved is married and they appear to be swapping , there is more to this story.

The moment I saw the General's wife I thought she could be the double for Mrs. Doubtfire, Robin Williams in drag. Others have compared her to George Washington and even Benjamin Franklin.   I am going to lose my NOW card for the following statement but I believe  Mrs. Petraeus did what a woman, married to a powerful man should never do, she gave up the sexy.  This is not to say he would not have cheated on her even if she looked like Helen Mirren.  I take that back no woman should give up her sexy, married or not.

There is a natural sultry vixen within all women. Some of us choose to have her on display 24/7, while others unleash her behind closed doors.  I saw earlier photos of a young Mrs. Petraeus.  She was a young exuberant woman standing beside her husband a West Point graduate and rising star.  We don't ever really know what goes on within a couple's relationship. A woman could decide she will allow her husband to put his dick anywhere he wants to, but that does not mean she should let herself go. For all I know,  Mrs. Petraeus may throw on a wonder woman costume and red thigh high stiletto boots when the sun goes down, so I am assuming  I know a woman should not be judged by her appearance but I think it is healthy to tap into your sexual being.  

I know too many women who for whatever reason give up on their appearance.  They disappear under the dull complexion and drab asexual clothing. That vixen is still in there waiting to be unleashed. Whether we like it or not a woman's sex appeal is one of the most powerful things in the universe. Here are some reasons a woman should never ever ever give up her sexy....

1.  For That Girl In The Mirror. When a woman gazes at her reflection and she is relatively pleased with her appearance you can see it in the way she walks.  It builds a certain confidence that is undeniable and infectious.

2.  For Your Man.  I know that a cheating man will cheat even if he has Halle Berry or Angelina Jolie at home, but what about the brother that doesn't step out.  Men are visual creatures you must keep that allure going to stay out of  a sexual rut. Your man is hard working, takes care of his children, and supports you.  If you look at that reflection and think, damn I am sexy.  He will too.

3.  Your Health.  Keeping your weight under control helps you live longer and stronger.  Combine that with spa treatments and occasional pampering and your mental health will flourish as well. Women take on so many roles that they deprive themselves and get lost in the shuffle.

STAY OUT OF MY VAGINA

It has been a week since President Obama got reelected.  This win is much sweeter the second time around.    As a woman I am relieved that President Obama will remain in office. The extremists have lost some serious ground.  I don't know about anyone else, but my vagina smiled last Tuesday.  Here is why she is still purring.

1. The War on Women is real.   Two Republican politicians on their recent campaign trails spouted their ignorant views of "legitimate rape." These same candidates were endorsed by Mitt Romney and he continued to endorse them after their stupid comments.  Rape is a vile hateful act, there is nothing legitimate about it.  Fortunately both candidates, Mourdock of Indiana and Akins of Missouri, loss their bids for public office.

2. The Right to Choose. Abortion is a dreaded decision that a woman makes with a heavy heart, but it should be her choice. The threat to Roe vs Wade was hanging in the balance during this Presidential campaign.  There is a strong possibility President Obama will be appointing at least one new Supreme Court Justice.  So for the next four years a woman's right to choose is safe.

3. Romney's Binders full of Women.  Anyone that would use that description to answer a question about what he would do to remedy inequality of women in the workplace, scares me.  The statistics state that during his administration women holding senior positions, actually declined.

4.  Blunt Amendment.   Romney supports the Blunt Amendment which would allow any employer to opt out of coverage for birth control.  The bill thank goodness was killed on a 51 to 48 vote in the Senate.  The thought that my President would want to restrict what I use to prevent getting pregnant is way to invasive.  Obama's birth control policy allows women to have free access to contraception through their insurance. That includes the pill, IUDs, morning after pill, and implantable contraceptives.  The pill isn't just taken to prevent pregnancy many women take it to regulate their menstrual cycles. That is specifically for health reasons.  But that shouldn't matter, I just want these politicians to stay out of my vagina.

Size Always Matters

Mr Marcus

A new study conducted by the Journal of Sexual Medicine has discovered that penis size does matter; at least when it comes to women who enjoy having vaginal orgasms. I would say that is quite a few women.  Psychologists at the University of Scotland asked 323 women  a series of questions about their sexual encounters. According to the study, women who have frequent vaginal orgasms attribute it to men who have larger penises.  These women claimed longer is better, but I have to throw girth in there.  A long thin penis is like stabbing your coochie with a pencil, in my opinion. Scottish psychologists determined that the average penis size is 5.8 inches. The women in the study said they were more likely to come if a man's penis was larger than average.

Now  this study does not seem like much of a revelation to me.  We can tip toe around it all we want; a man who is well endowed can do some damage, if he knows what he is doing.  Just throwing a big dick at a woman is not enough.  I find that the biggest stimulant when it comes to female orgasms is the brain.  If a man can stimulate a woman's mind and then throw down in the boudoir, there is an absolute chance she will come.  I am not going to lie when a man whips it out for the first time and he casts a healthy shadow, my arousal is on a high alert.

Fear not average and below average men, you can stimulate a woman as well.  Experimenting with new positions and clitoral stimulation is always a good approach.  Above all else foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. In the end it is the size of a man's desire to satisfy his woman that matters.

Holiday Sex

Your man tells you he and the boys are taking a little trip together.  They are probably going to play golf, jet ski and take in the sights.  Innocent enough right? After all you and your girls love your long weekend getaways together.  Good food, music, and the company of your sister friends makes for some wonderful memories.  Now all of a sudden he is pressed to get his U.S. passport. Well before he packs that suitcase and heads for that tropical paradise; where is he really going? Chances are the main objective for some of his boys is to get their dicks wet.  Will your man succumb to peer pressure?  Sex tourism is real.  It probably existed since Columbus sailed the seven seas.

Men with disposable income travel to exotic locals to have sex with beautiful women every single day.  There are countries that cater to their erotic desires.  The women are skilled and can make your man feel like he is Idris Elba sitting on a stack of money.   Prostitution can be found on every corner of the Earth but there is something about a city or country that condones it, that makes it enticing and so inviting for some. Here are a few places where a man is welcomed with open arms to come there and fuck until his hear is content.

Brazil 

When I think of sex tourism, Brazil is the first place that comes to mind. Rio de Janeiro will be hosting the 2016 Summer Olympics.  Rio like my beloved Trinidad loves to party so these Olympic Games are guaranteed to be like no other. People will flock to the South American jewel to witness athletic history, but believe me  there will be a lot of serious screwing going on.   It is no secret that for years Brazil has been a destination for men wanting to sample the beautiful women there that will cater to their sexual desires.  Adult prostitution is legal in Brazil, but not pimpin'. The government actually has a website devoted to prostitution as a career and even goes so far as to describe the courses that are required, for example, safe sex, beauty, and budget planning.

Colombia

The secret service's recent sex scandal involving local  prostitutes had everyone talking about the Colombian "escort" industry. What did we learn?  If you are sent to Cartagena to protect the President don't think you can get away with haggling an escort the next morning for services rendered. Colombia was notorious for that white powder they exported but the sex industry is flourishing there.  Adult prostitution is legal in designated zones but facilitating sex tourism is illegal.

Costa Rica

Costa Rica is known for it's unrivaled ecotourism.  Thousands upon thousands travel there to enjoy the natural riches of this country nestled within Central America.  But it isn't just the beautiful landscape that draws people in; cities like the capital San Jose or the coastal city Jaco, are accustomed to men travelling there for uninhibited sexual escapades.  Adult prostitution is legal in Costa Rica and the sex workers are required to register and get routine medical exams.  But that in no way eliminates the risk of catching a STD. You will always have those workers that don't register at all.

Dominican Republic

An article in the February 2010 issue of  Essence Magazine titled "Fool's Paradise" exposed the sex industry in the Dominican Republic. It went into detail about  the sex excursions taken by some black men fulfilling t of their marital status. I lived for several years in the US Virgin Islands which has a large Dominican population.  Girls were constantly imported in to work at the local strip clubs and presumably as prostitutes.  Many of the men there traveled to D.R. for the weekend to get a taste of the local women and then come back home to their wives and girlfriends.  A man's U.S. dollars can go a long way with a sex worker in D.R.  Some say the Dominican Republic has replaced Brazil when it comes to the sex trade in Latin America.  For the man on a budget this is the perfect place. Prostitution is legal but brothels are not. Word on the street is that the government does not enforce any of the prostitution laws.

Thailand

Thailand  is often called the Sex Tourism capital of the World. Bangkok, Thailand's Red Light District is infamous.  A man can find any kind of sex he wants regardless of the perversion.   Although prostitution is illegal, the government does not seem to enforce the law.  Women and men practice prostitution openly.  Sex is a billion dollar industry that gives a great boost to the economy of Thailand.

Celibacy Blues

Webster's Dictionary defines celibacy as the abstention from sexual intercourse and the state of not being married.  I grew up in the Catholic church so I always associated celibacy with the vow a priest or a nun takes. We all know that some priests have not been able to make that work. I would bet money that the nuns haven't all been successful either, they are just more discrete.  My understanding is, if one is celibate they not only give up the pleasures of the flesh but they abstain from all sexual activitiy and thoughts as well.  That theory means if you stopped fucking but you still masturbate, you are not celibate. Or if you only watch porn but you don't engage in vaginal penetration you are still not celibate.

Abstaining from sexual intercourse is a huge task to take on. In a society where sexual images and potential partners are ubiquitous; it takes a determination of steel to completely give up fucking. I had no idea who Devon Franklin was prior to viewing his interview to hawk his book, Produced By Faith, on GlobalGrind.com. After hearing him declare that he was celibate for over 10 years I had to find out more about him. Turns out Mr. Franklin is an anomaly, a Hollywood executive and a devout Christian.   Is it possible that an attractive and successful business man can abstain from sex for over ten years in Lala Land? If he truly abstained, his will power is commendable.

I enjoy sex.  I should rephrase that; I enjoy good sex. I have abstained from sexual intercourse with a man at different points in my life.  I never considered myself celibate.  My battery operated toys were always handy. But there were times when I needed to put the dick down.  Sex can confuse you and keep you in situations you do not need to be in.  The commitment to abstain from sex with another person is quite difficult in the beginning and it doesn't get any easier. One of my favorite songs on Jill Scott's album The Real Thing: Volume 3, is Celibacy Blues. That song is the perfect description of what you go through.  So if you decide to take the journey be prepared for the long road ahead. Here is some of the temptation I have found along the way.

The Finest Men

It seems that when you decide hey I am going to give up sex.  The fine ass men appear everywhere. When I see a gorgeous man that makes my heart flutter, naturally I start thinking about things of a sexual nature.

Yuma TnT Carnival 2012

Happy Hour

I like to get my drink on.  A couple glasses of pinot grigio or a cranberry and Malibu at half off and I am feeling nice.  Now put me in a bar setting with some decent looking men and I get that fuzzy feeling inside.  Not a good mix if you are abstaining.

The Radio

Turn your radio on any hip hop or r&b station and you are bombarded with the overt sexual messages that are a part of today's music.  I am listening to Miguel's "Adorn" right now and if that doesn't get your pulse racing, you might be dead. Okay Motivation by Kelly Rowland just came on.  I'm done.

Response to Just Say No to Wife Beaters

In response to "Just Say No to Wife Beaters" (see previous post) I have been informed by the male gender that there are some things they would prefer women not to wear. I in no way want to be bias, so here are their words...


Two Tone Weaves

Multicolored weaves. One color at a time...
They look like they belong on a bird.







Ugg Boots

Especially in the summertime....

Ugg Boot

Long False Eyelashes

It looks like your eyes are about to fall off.

Too Many Accessories

Just too much going on.

Tight Spandex

Tight spandex is a problem when all the lumps and bumps are showing.