KEEP SEXUAL PLAY OLD SCHOOL

Polaroid Z2300 Instant Digital Camera

Recently a couple of correction officers, in a relationship, were embarrassed by the discovery of their sexual escapades on the male officer's cell phone.  At the Green Haven Correctional Facility COs are not allowed to bring cell phones into the prison.  The officer forgot his phone in his jacket and it was confiscated. He informed an official of the photos.  Well you know there are voyeuristic people who are driven by curiosity and cannot help but peer into a technological window.  There also are those who regress back to the seventh grade when it comes to sex.

Now of course if you don't take sexual photos or videos on your phone, laptop, or tablet then you never have to worry about your intimate moments being revealed to others. How realistic is that?  We have become creatures that record every moment of our lives and walk around with it in our pockets and purses.  I believe it is healthy for a couple to add visualization to their sexual repertoire, but you have to be sensible about it.  The old school way of doing things applies here.  Invest in a Polaroid camera and keep the photos locked in a little inconspicuous safe that only you and your significant other have the combination to.  A video camera, not connected to a cell phone or any other social media gadget, is a wonderful investment. A projector and a projector screen are also practical accessories to add to your video play.

Lightinthebox.com

There is nothing wrong with wanting to capture erotic moments with your lover.  First you have to make sure you truly trust that person, and that takes time.  Once you established mutual trust you can decide to record your sex life; just invest in some gadgets that are harder to fall into the hands of outsiders.  We all have locks on our doors, access to alarm systems so we should have no problem safeguarding our most intimate moments?  

http://www.poughkeepsiejournal.com/story/news/local/central-dutchess/2015/01/17/green-haven-co-cell-phone-photos/21913193/

I HATE WHEN STRANGERS SAY SMILE....

I grew up in New York City, Brooklyn mostly, and I can remember when male strangers started talking to me on the street.  I was about 12 years old.  These were not boys hollering at me but grown men. Well it  was the 80s and I was allowed to walk everywhere alone: to the library, corner store, and the arcade, etc..  Now New Yorkers learn early on not to talk to strangers.  So I was initially thrown off by the unsolicited attention. Just like pregnancy, other females don't prepare you for it.

These gestures had sexual undertones; even at that tender age I could tell.   It felt weird in the beginning and as my body matured I grew accustomed to it. Some would say a simple hello, while others commented on your body and the more intimidating ones followed you for blocks.  I learned that when you ignored some, they would unleash a verbal wrath on you that could make Katt Williams blush.  On some occasions a man would say something sincere or he would make you laugh, harassment is interpretation, I guess.

Your attire does not matter.  You could be drowning in a huge winter coat or cooling off in denim shorts and the attention came your way. Of course the more sexily dressed you were perceived, the more intense were the gestures.  Sometimes you had a bad day, and you just left work and were headed to the A train.  You put your headphones on to block out the world, but not too loud because this is the Big Apple and you better be aware of your surroundings.  That is when you hear it, "Smile,". "You too pretty to not be smiling."  You ignore it and just want to get home.  Of course he takes it personal and "Bitch" rolls off his tongue as if it was the first word he uttered as a baby.  That is an extreme scenario, but not uncommon.  My sister said the late Biggie Smalls, cussed her out for not responding to one of his boys as she was walking the streets of downtown Manhattan. 

Women in large US cities, overseas, and probably damn near everywhere can possibly relate to this video.  My girlfriend told me the men in Italy are quite aggressive on the streets.  I know for a fact the men in the Caribbean are no slouches either. Over at clutchmagonline and article is stating that the white men in the street harassment video above were edited out.   This video was shot over 10 hours on the busy streets of the NYC.  She could have came in contact with thousands of people.  The majority appear to be civil. If they truly edited out the white men to target non-whites then this entire video is tainted.

Now when I initially described the men that engaged with me, I never attached race to it. I have been greeted by black, white, and Hispanic men.  Maybe you get the worse from your own, but the most crude things have come out of Black men's mouths.  I see nothing wrong with saying hello, or how are you doing, maybe even a simple compliment.  It is the immature banter that seems played out and ridiculous. 

Yesterday a man, he was white, said hello in a kind gesture outside of Publix grocery store. I returned the gesture.  It did not feel like harassment.  A women knows when she is being harassed or annoyed.  I currently live in Central Florida, so walking down the street is not as common, we live in our cars.  So a brief engagement is usually just that. There comes a time when a woman reaches a certain age and that attention comes to an end.  Will I miss it, probably not.  What I especially won't miss is the insistence of someone telling me to smile.  I am not a robot and will smile when I see fit.  If you want to engage, a simple hello will suffice.

SERENA WILLIAMS IS PHENOMONAL

This Ad for Beats by Dre, has me lacing up my sneakers and getting down on the mat.  Serena is the "baadest" athlete on the planet.

LADIES IF HE PUTS HIS HANDS ON YOU, LEAVE!

The former Baltimore Ravens player, Ray Rice's domestic violence video on a casino's elevator is circulating all over the globe, compliments of TMZ.  The NFL previously suspended him for two games for the infamous video of him dragging his then fiancee, knocked out cold, out of the elevator.  One month later this young lady decides to marry this man who, as now revealed, punched her the hell out like he was brawling with Mike Tyson.  I don't know what led up to that heinous act.  What I do know is she needs to get the hell out of that situation.

Ray Rice and other men like him do not belong in relationships until they learn how to control their violent behavior.  Did she hit him prior to that or say something that pissed him off? I haven't a clue. What I do know is their foundation is quicksand and it will sink rather quickly.  The League gave him a meek slap on a wrist and now the Ravens have decided to give him the boot.  His wife should take note. If Baltimore can kick him the hell out, guess what so should she.  Domestic Violence is rampant in all societies.  It does not discriminate based on race, gender or socioeconomic status.  Men hit women.  Women hit men. Men hit men and Women hit women. Everybody needs to just keep their hands to themselves.  Whatever emotional scars or baggage you are bringing to a relationship do not channel it into a violent situation; get help.  If you are a victim of domestic violence; get help.  The National Domestic Violence Hotline (www.thehotline.org) @ 1-800-799-7233 can connect you to the resources you need to live a life free of violence.

No one, male or female; rich or poor; gay or straight; should remain in a relationship that involves physical and/or emotional abuse.  Run and get the hell out as fast as you can!

Brown is Nude

I love lingerie.  It is one of my guilty pleasures.  There is something about putting on a pretty bra set that empowers you.  So I am excited about Nubian Skin, a new commerce site,  that will be launching a lingerie line that truly addresses what nude means to women of color.  For years, I have lamented about finding nude underwear that truly compliments the different shades of black women and our sisters of color.  I have searched for a pretty brown bra and pantie only to be disappointed. The few brown bras I find are boring and too matronly for my taste. I stopped wearing stockings because I could never find a shade that flattered my skin tone.

In October Nubian Skin plans to launch this groundbreaking business.  The bra sizes will range from 30B to 36E.  I am excited and welcome the diversity in the lingerie world.  I cross my fingers and hope the best for this new company.

WHY I AM BOYCOTTING BET

Your natural hair and your soft skin, and your big ass in that sundress (ooh!) Good God, what you doing that walk for? - Poetic Justice (Kendrick Lamar)

When I first heard those lyrics I got goose bumps.  Wearing my natty hair has been liberating. I restarted my natural hair journey almost 20 years ago. I decided to do away with straightening my locks and I have never looked back.  Those moments of hot combs scorching my ears and my scalp being assaulted by lye are distant memories, and I shall never relive it.

I am not opposed to perms, straighteners or weaves.  Do whatever makes you feel beautiful.  What I am against is someone judging another for choosing a path that might be different than the majority.  If I want to let my natty locks blow in the win; it is my prerogative.  BET or no one else can kill my joy.

I am probably not part of BET's target audience.  I left my teen years and early twenties behind a long time ago.  So my boycotting of the cable network is not an issue for them.  I do have a son and while he is currently in my home he wont be watching BET either.  I have TV One to indulge in, so it really is not a loss. Honestly I stopped watching that channel consistently a long time ago.  Most of the time I could barely last 10 minutes watching their programming.  I do enjoy watching the award show every summer but I will have to live without that.

What's my motivation to abandon the once black owned basic cable network?  The recent comments made by Chris Brown's concubine about Blue Ivy's hair was the straw that broke the camel's back for me.  Little black girls have enough self image issues to contend with.  Attacking a little girl's natural hair is irresponsible and pathetic.

How absurd that wearing your hair in your natural state is not normal.  Only Black women are subjected to believing they must chemically alter the natural texture of their hair to fit in.   I shed that burden with no regrets.  It disturbs me to see people, passing as adults, ridicule a beautiful little black girl for wearing her gorgeous natural locks.  We can't blame white people for this ignorance. Anyone who objects to or is offended by an individual who has decided to let their natural go free is an asshole.  I have zero tolerance for anyone that believes it is okay to make fun of a precious child for being herself.  Fuck them and fuck BET.

WOMEN ARE VISUAL CREATURES

Jeremy Meeks

The Stockton Police Department had a weapons bust and decided to post it on their Facebook page.  What they did not anticipate is all the attention one of their suspects, Jeremy Meeks would get.  His photo garnered over 38,000 likes. Apparently the world now knows that women do like eye candy.  Yes Mr. Meeks is handsome and I suppose it is his beautiful blue eyes and chiseled features that are getting all the attention.  The fact that he is a 30 year old convicted felon and gang member has not made him any less attractive to some.  I am sure for most, it is all fantasy.  Another young suspect, Terry Bailey, arrested that same day is no slouch in the looks department either.  I guess his brown eyes did not appeal to the masses.

Terry Bailey

The misconception is that women are exclusively attracted to things like money, status, or personality.  Men are visual creatures and mostly respond to a round booty, nice breasts and a smile. After all that is what drives the pornography industry. I do know that women are not immune to a man's good looks.  You may not want to invite Mr. Meeks over for dinner for fear he will in the least rob you.  But you are not opposed to fantasizing about him tonight with your battery operated boyfriend.  It really shouldn't be news that women are drawn to a handsome face wrapped in a bad boy image.

Magic Mike the male stripper film set in Tampa, Florida was a surprise hit that made over 167 million dollars at the worldwide box office.  The movie had a weak plot and even weaker dancing, with the exception of Channing Tatum's sultry moves. I watched the movie with a room full of excited females who left that theater satisfied. The women were excited to see extraordinarily attractive men barely clothed and  grinding on stage. There was no knight in shining armor or prince with a castle; just unadulterated sex appeal.  So you can admire the looks of a felon from afar and just keep it moving.  Looking but not touching never hurt anyone.

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